For those who have experienced loss, there isn't much you can do except remember the good times and carry that person's spirit in your heart. I don’t think I would want to re-live the pain of knowing my father was sick, that he could die. In the end, I am relieved that he died, without a huge amount of pain. That he died on his terms, peacefully. I've heard people say that they were prepared, but what I've learned from this is that you are never prepared to loose a parent no matter how old they are, because there is an unbelievable pain that goes with knowing that someone you love is dead. I now believe that the loss of a parent is the most traumatic event. It’s something that is un-measurable with almost anything else.
Thursday, October 26, 2006 my worst fear came true. I woke up around 3am sweating. Usually when I wake up in the middle of the night, I will go in my sanctuary and pray. But this particular day I just tossed and turned for over an hour. Finally I picked up my cell phone to see if I had any missed calls. Lord and behold, I had ten missed calls and it was all from Nigeria. I ran into my sister's room to get a calling card . I called home and when my sister picked up the phone, the first thing I asked was, 'how is Dad?' She told me to hold on and gave the phone to my brother. When my brother came on the phone, I asked him if my Dad was dead, he just blurted out that we lost him. My Father had died from complications of diabetes and prostrate cancer. It was painful to hear that such a strong man could crumble under this horrible disease, but you can't fight fate. What is done is done. You can't change it, and there is nothing you can do to reconcile it except to find some peace within yourself. But also there was fear mixed with confusion.
My Dad was Chief S S Anosike, affectionately known as "WAR" to a lot of my friends. My Dad was a good man. Not a perfect man. Kindness was his calling card to everyone around him. Surely I can talk about some of his past mistakes, but no one is perfect, and such seems trivial now. However, inside, my father was very sensitive, very caring, always helpful.
During my childhood, my father worked constantly, We hardly saw him. He had a passion for life, both in business and his family. When I look at my life I see that a lot of him is in me and that is what I need to carry on. If you had met my father, you would say that he was loving, caring, a good father, strong, intelligent and a hard worker. He was a wonderful Father and I remember many fond memories. The things I remember the most is how he used to sit us down every Sunday and cut our nails when we were little. He used to let me use whatever car I wanted. I remember how I used to write him from school and tell him what driver and car that I wanted to pick me up from school, and I always got it. He always made sure that his family was provided for. Through the happiest of times to the saddest times I know that I can always call him to rescue me. I thank him for everything he ever did in my life whether I liked it or not... I learned and he did teach me a lot.
I will always treasure the last few years of his life. We became especially close, The last time I saw my father he left me with a memory that will stay with me forever. My greatest pleasure was going shopping with him, I spent a lot of time with him, talking about business, politics, going to the doctor, shopping. I will forever remain grateful for this very precious time that we were able to share. And then we had a big argument , until then, nobody in my family had found the courage to speak honestly and directly with my father, and I had to be the one to change it. By telling my father how I experienced our relationship growing up, I thought that I was risking what little connection I had with my father, but instead it made our relationship grow stronger and a whole lot more realistic. The day before he left I came into the room and asked him to bless us before leaving, not knowing that will be the last time that I will see him. My father broke the silence by giving me what would become my "blessing." He prayed for me, my sister and my niece, and he also prayed for his children that were not there. I feel fortunate to have had the opportunity to ask for my father's blessing.
When he went back to Nigeria, I called him every week and if he didn't hear from me he will tell my sister to call and check if I was ok. I do regret the fact that I was not there to take care of him in his last days. But even in his last days he was still worried about me. I could not ask for a more caring father who bestowed upon me the capacity to learn, reach, and grow; traits that will hopefully result in my own legacy.
May your soul rest in Peace. Amen.
7. Disciplined: Where there's a will, there's a win Discipline is doing what you really don't want to do, so that you can do what you really want to do. It means paying the price so you can have the reward later. To become the kind of players teams want, people must develop discipline in three areas. - Disciplined thinking. Keep your mind active, and always think about the right things. - Disciplined emotions. Either you master your emotions, or be mastered by them. - Disciplined actions. Action separates the winners from the losers. When people act on what they must do, it is for the benefit of all those on the team.
6. Dependable: Teams go to Go-To players The essence of dependability: - Pure motives. If there are no hidden agendas the team will make progress. - The ability to take on responsibility. The team player must want the ball and be able to sink it in the basket and score. - Sound thinking and good judgment, when it counts. - Consistent contribution, no matter how tired, overwhelmed or distracted, you must be able to deliver. To improve dependability one must: a) check your motives; b) discover what your word is worth.; and, c) find someone to hold you accountable.
5. Competent: If you can't, your team won't Competent does not mean simply having adequate skills to perform a job. It means the individual must be highly qualified to do the job well. To improve the level of competence, one must: a) focus yourself professionally; b) sweat the small stuff; c) give more attention to implementation.
4. Communicative: A team is many voices with a single heart. Communicative team players do not isolate themselves from others; make it easy for teammates to communicate with them; follow the twenty-four hour rule; give attention to potentially difficult relationships; and, follow up important communication in writing. To improve communication one is expected to: a) be candid; b) be quick; and, c) be inclusive.
3. Committed: There are no halfhearted champions. Commitment usually is discovered in the midst of adversity. Committed people don't surrender easily. It does not depend on gifts or abilities. Rather, it is the result of choice. Commitment lasts when it's based on values. If it's something you believe in, it's easier to keep. To improve the level of commitment, one must: - Tie commitments to values. - Take a risk. - Evaluate teammates' commitment.
2. Collaborative: Working together precedes winning together Collaboration is the key word when it comes to meeting challenges as a team. Cooperation is merely working together agreeably, but collaborating means working together more aggressively. Every team player must bring something more to the table, and not just put in his minimum required work. A collaborative team player needs to change in four key areas: 1) Perception; 2) Attitude; 3) Focus; and, 4) Results
1. Adaptable: If you won't change for the team, the team may change you. Team players who are most likely to become adaptable possess the following characteristics: a) they are highly teachable; b) they are emotionally secure; c) they are creative; and, d) they are service-minded individuals. To achieve such characteristic, the following are recommended: a) get into the habit of learning; b) reevaluate your role on the team; and, c) think outside the lines.
BECOMING THE KIND OF PERSON EVERY TEAM WANTS
As I was praying and asking God to bring the people that will help fulfill the vision of Amoize Magazine, I read this book by John C. Maxwell. It helped me with building my team, I decided to post some of the excepts here, maybe it can help someone. Enjoy. Here is a clear character profile of the ideal Team Player. Maxwell stresses some main qualities of a good team player: intentional, or he is focused on the big picture, relational, focused on others, selfless, willing to take a backseat for the good of the team, and tenacious - works hard to overcome obstacles, no matter what.
Here is head shot from my photo shoot. I had so much fun shooting all these different looks and trying out new styles… you’re never too old to play dress-up . I can't wait to get the rest of the pics.
“LORD, who may dwell in your sanctuary?
Who may live on your holy hill? He whose walk is blameless
and who does what is righteous, who speaks the truth from his heart
and has no slander on his tongue, who does his neighbor no wrong
and casts no slur on his fellowman.”
( Ps. 15:1-3
©2018 Ezioma Anosike All rights reserved